It is common for parents to struggle with deciding how to discipline their kids when misbehaving. There are a variety of parenting styles and choices, and all we want is what’s best for our children. However, when our emotions get the best of us, the next thing we know – we’re expressing this frustration in a harsh way, like yelling. Recently, clinical studies have found why this is the least effective and most detrimental disciplinary measure.

The Effects of Shouting

Brain Development

Humans process negative information and experiences more quickly than positive ones. A study released in 2010 describes the change in brain development when associated with parental verbal abuse. There were significant differences in the parts of the brain that are responsible for processing sound and language. 

Physical Burden

Psychological stress in childhood can actually have long-term effects on physical health. Research is done by Gregory E Miller, Edith Chen, and Karen J Parker reveals the heightened vulnerability to vascular disease, autoimmune disorders and premature mortality. They predict that a childhood filled with stress leads to poor behavioural tendencies, impaired self-regulation, and unhealthy social relationships, and these ultimately lead to elevated rates of morbidity and mortality from chronic diseases of ageing. Stress experiences as a kid get “programmed” into the cells in our bodies and create modifications in hormone release.

Gaining Respect

Some parents might believe that shouting is the only way to get their children to respect them; however, it does more harm than good. By raising your voice at them, you undermine their self-worth. Yelling is merely an expression of anger, and you’re projecting it onto the child. They will gain fear, not proper discipline or respect. Calmly having a conversation and providing a reason for their misbehaviour is a much more effective approach. 

Solving Behavioural Problems

Typically, parents yell when a child has misbehaved, and this is their way of disciplining them. It may appear to solve a problem at the moment and ultimately prevent bad behaviour in the future, but it only creates more long-term issues. Ming-Te Wang and Sarah Kenney found links between harsh verbal discipline and adolescent behavioural problems. As predicted, in a household where yelling was a form of discipline from both mom and dad, behaviour for the following year increased. 

Raising your voice does not mean they’re listening.

Joseph Shrand, PhD, an instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, explains why kids actually listen less when you yell. He explains that the limbic system, one of its many jobs, is responsible for the fight or flight response, which is activated when your voice is raised. This means a child may trigger their flight response and freeze up rather than listen.

Increase in Mental Illness 

Verbal abuse has the ability to create deeper long-term psychological issues. A study done by Kera L Donovan and Marla R Brassard describes the associations between a negative view of one’s self and social problems with verbal aggression. The psychological effects can include symptoms such as depression, anxiety, aggression, etc. Children who are treated poorly are inclined to treat peers the same way because they are taught that this is the appropriate way to behave. Their tendencies developed as a child, which results from childhood relationships, follow them into adulthood and affect future relationships and ultimately their mental health. 

Changing Your Ways

Even if you have done it in the past, it’s okay to make a change. Neuroplasticity is an important phenomenon in which the brain is constantly changing and maturing by making new connections. It is never too late to change your disciplinary approach because showing a sense of caring and respect may completely alter your relationship with your child or their mental wellness (self-worth, confidence, etc.).